


HAPPY BIRTHDAY

by Totally_not_obsessed_with_broadway



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 05:23:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14253936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Totally_not_obsessed_with_broadway/pseuds/Totally_not_obsessed_with_broadway





	1. Introduction

Hey Guin!

Because of your birthday, I've decided to write you some stories. Ten in total (I'll explain the hints in a bit). I really hope you enjoy them and hope you have a wonderful day! I could go on and on about how thankful I am for the fact that you are in my life, but then I'd have to write a whole separate book and I sadly do not have the time for that. I just hope it shows through these stories.

Happy Birthday, Love.

-Z.

Hint 1 (8000)

If you rearrange those numbers you get 0800, A.K.A. 08:00. That's eight o'clock and the first story I let you read of these is 'A mission at eight'.

Hint 2 (19-3)

This is a code. A is the first letter of the alphabet so, 1. If you look at your keyboard, o is the ninth letter on there, so 9. The three is supposed to be three, that's why it stands apart. When you add those you get AO3, the platform you read the first story on.

Hint 3 (2101)

On January 21st we were playing a game on WhatsApp about the most ... thing that happened in our AU's. When I asked 'funniest thing', you said nerf fight. And there may or may not be a one-shot about that same nerf fight.

Like I said, you'll hate me after you know these hints.


	2. #1

'Ey death metal, princess bubblegum. Cap wanted me to tell you guys you have a mission at eight' Tony walked into the living room, simultaneously fixing one of Natasha's explosive knives.

'Alright, eight when?' Guin asked.

'Eight now'

'Eight now?! Couldn't you have told us sooner? It's six!'

'Listen love, I'm just now getting the message from capsicle. If I'd known sooner, I'd have told you.'

'Guin you stay here then, I'm gonna have a word with America's boy scout.' Sarah barged out, muttering stuff that would make a sailor blush.

'Well, Steve's dead. At least he was killed by a loved one?' Guin shrugged. 'What's the mission about anyway?'

'Routine stuff. Take down the Hydra base, get some cargo and get the hell out of there, or in your case, blow the place up.'

'That happened one time, for fuck's sake.'

A few hours pass and after some quick packing and a lot of yelling at the team's captain, the pair was packed up outside the quinjet and ready to go. After the girls had said goodbye to the team the only thing left to do was wait until they arrived at the destination.

An hour into the flight Sarah asked: 'What'd you do if we got stuck in there?'

'You know, you always have a way of calming people down when they're nervous.' She laughed.

'I try my best' the girl remarked, flashing a grin.

'I'd think I'd just fly out of there "Yeet, motherfuckers. Angel wings in your face.'

'That's a way to do-' Sarah was abruptly cut off by nearing thunder. 'Is Thor on this mission or something?'

'I don't think that's Thor, it sounds way too mechanical.' Guin looked at her fellow teammate.

'I guess we're there, Jarvis bring us down, please'

'You're adorable'

'Shut up' Sarah retorted, a smile on her face.

The two were ready to jump out of the opened chute in the vehicle, not bothering to have it land (as Sarah swung out and Guin just flew). When a loud boom could be heard, the shock of which send the former tumbling to the ground.

'Fuck, fuck, fuck, Sarah, are you okay?' Guinevere gulped.

'Yeah, I'm fine. Only a few scratches.'

'I'm gonna fucking kill those guys.' She said swooping down and flying alongside her friend as they made their way towards the base.

'You know, murder wasn't on today's agenda.'

'It's not on anyones' Guin replied, still feeling kind of queasy.

'No, it's on mine, just not until next Thursday.' 

'What the fuck, Zohra. Isn't it your anniversary then?' 

'Hey, Tony set the kitchen on fire on your anniversary.' 

She laughed at the memory, Tony had been all excited. Constantly telling her how perfect it was going to be. But the dish was just way too hard for someone who had only ever 'cooked' instant noodles. Thank god, she still had some leftovers and they ended up snuggling, watching the entire Harry Potter saga. It was a good day.

'Someone home?' Sarah laughed. She loved seeing how in love her friend was with the engineer. 'We're at the base.'

Through the bushes, a big stone building could be seen surrounded by army cars and guards. Classic hydra, hiding their bases as army facilities. Even when no one was around they were pretending to fight the good fight. Both girls knew better than to believe that.

'Ready to kick some hydra-ass?'

'Do you even have to ask?' Sarah answered. 

'What's our exit strategy?'

'Our what?'

'Oh my god, we are gonna die.' Guinevere chuckled.

And with that, the two ran in. Probably a tad bit too unprepared.


	3. #2

Guinevere was working in the lab, carefully screwing some bolts in place, hoping that this time they would stay in place. Two halls down, the rest of the Avengers were collecting their take-out. Which was a whole challenge in and of itself. Tony and Sarah wanted Italian, Steve and Bucky stuck with American food, Natasha; Guin and the twins really liked sushi, Bruce preferred Indian and Clint just took food from everyone, much to their dismay. They didn't really sit down and have dinner together, everybody wanted to do their own thing so they did. Guin had chosen to retreat to the lab, working on her new wing armour.

'Hey babe, I brought you some sushi.' Tony walked in balancing a pizza carton, a Tupperware box filled with spaghetti and a plate of full of sushi.

'Awh, thank you! What do you think of this new design? Do you think it would work?' Tony came to stand behind her, examining the invention. 

'It should, but maybe if you-' 

Abruptly he was cut off by the power going off, a scream could be heard in the complex.

'Did you hear that scream?' Guin nervously looked around her, not to keen on the dark.

'Yes, I'm the one who screamed.' Tony responded.

'Jarvis? What happened to the electricity?' Guin looked up expectantly, waiting for the AI to answer.

'Don't bother, it's not just lightning it's all sources of power. I think something went wrong in the energy pipes. I'll have the tech guys take a look at it.' 

A few months ago Tony assembled a team of young promising tech students, most of the time they helped built stuff in the lab or showed new ideas during meetings. But occasionally, they got to do a "tech mission" and use what they'd learned. This was one of those occasions.

'They're more than happy to handle it. Let's go see how the others are handling it.'

Walking through the halls hand in hand, they ended up in the living room, where they were met with the sight of all of the Avengers sitting around what seemed to be an on-fire Sarah.

'I'm being exploited for my powers here!' she exclaimed, not looking mad at all.

'You could just not do it, you know?' Tony retorted.

'It was this or they'd set the stove on fire, again.' They all looked at Clint, knowing that the archer probably had something to do with it. 'I'm just trying to save "your baby".' 

'Your efforts are greatly appreciated.' Guin laughed and gave a fake bow. 

'Guin, aren't you like a living match too?' Natasha remarked, who had been sitting quietly in the corner.

'What? Oh yeah, of course.' She quickly took off her bracelets, set herself aflame and went to sit next to Sarah. 'How do we keep getting into these situations?'

'Eleven years of friendship and I still don't know.' The other girl remarked, they had had a lot of weird experiences over the years.

'Could you maybe turn the heat up, it's getting a bit cold in here.' Bucky said, rubbing his arms dramatically.

His sister shot him a glare, 'Says the guy who was stuck in ice for 75 years.'

'You know we're not all born with the ability to throw fireballs, right?' He was quick to retort. 

'Do any of you know why the power went out?' Guin looked around the group, Tony's energy pipes didn't make mistakes. That's when Natasha smirked.

'You know something. Tell me.' Guinevere walked up to her, wanting answers.

'I'd be a really bad spy if I gave you that information without anything in return.'

'Fine, I'll make you some new tech.'

'And?'

'And' Guin added exasperatedly, but not really. 'I'll cook your favourite meal for a week. Deal?'

'Deal. Okay, so Clint bribed one of those IT guys to delay the energy import. It's programmed to go back on in ten minutes. No major damage or anything.' Nat smirked, if there was one thing she didn't have a problem with, it was selling someone out for weapons or food.

'LEGOLAAAAAAAAS' Tony's voice boomed from the kitchen, he had most likely caught on.

The two women looked at each other. 

'Oh boy'


	4. #3

'Coulson, you better tell me what happened right now or I'm gone.' Sarah walked into the living room, looked bewildered at the Shield agent. 'Why are they all kids?'

'Loki...' Phil sighed, not needing to say much more. 'We have run some tests on them, they all appear to be around six and mostly healthy.'

'Mostly?'

'Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes seem to have been de-serumed, Dr. Bannon is even more near-sighted then usual and also de-serumed, Agent Barton is apparently asthmatic and most of them already have some form of PTSD or anxiety.'

'Great, so I'm not just dealing with kids. I'm basically dealing with the Avengers, but hyper!' Sarah exclaimed. 

'Didn't you take care of your siblings in the depression?' Coulson questioned, she wished she'd never brought it up.

'Those were three kids and Bucky! These are-' She tried to count them. 'more than three.'

'Yeah well, we got nowhere else to bring them. We tried Hill, but she ran the moment she saw them.' Coulson looked at the children who were all sleeping on the couch. 'Please take them in, we'll try to track down Loki, force him to turn it back' Phil said, already turning to get back to the jet.

'Sure, good luck with Loki!' Sarah called and turned to the couch, where her teammates were already waking up. 'Oh boy.'

\--------------------

'Tony put that down, I told you to put that down. Christ in heaven and below, if you don't put that down I'll rip your ears off and scream into them until you listen!' Sarah looked at the five-year-old engineer who had somehow managed to get his hands on his tools. Tony looked at her, scared, and then,

'Oh god, oh god please stop crying. Fuck, the Howard thing, of course. Here! Screwdriver?' She held it out for him expectantly. Even though she didn't show it, she was worried about him. When she told him she was going to take care of them until their parents came back, he didn't really have a reaction.

'Okay, why the hell do I hear you screaming from the first floor?!' Guin looked at the destruction around her. 

Steve and Bucky were sitting in the middle of the room, the latter had his arm wrapped around the former, Natasha was eyeing everyone from the corner, Bruce was on the couch nearly crying, Thor was standing on the counter declaring himself king, giggling that could only be Clint's sounded from the vents and on the floor near the kitchen, was Sarah desperately trying to make Tony stop crying by shoving a screwdriver in his hands.

'Sarah, what the fuck?! Okay, you know what? Step back. You take Bruce, I take the rest.'

'THOR STOP SCREAMING, but-'

'You really want to argue now? One mission where we are suspended and this shit happens.'

'No...Come on Bruce, we'll go make you a smoothie.' Sarah took the hand of a still slightly scared Bruce.

'Try not to blow up the blender.'

'I'll try my best.'

Guin scanned the room for all of the kids. 'First things first, I'm Guinevere and I'll take care of you guys for a while. I promise I'll do my best to take care of you.'

'Your hair looks pretty.' A young Tony remarked.

'Well, thank you! I already like you.' She smiled. 

The kids instantly took a liking to her. She was 'bubbly' as Steve had told her, in adult as well as in kid form. She was forced interfere at one point.

'Thor, Thor no, Mjolnir is not for chewing. Let's take that away...or let it lay there, whatever.'

From the other side of the room, an unnaturally happy Nat was chatting away in Russian.

'сделал я побег красная комната? я надеюсь, что это так. мне это нравится Вот. также, Клинт это придурок.'

'Nat, I love you from the bottom of my heart, but what the fuck are you saying?!' Guin was getting a bit tired of having to use Google translate, so she ended up just shoving Bucky in her direction. Turned out he had forgotten all his Russian.

'Oh, you said a swear!' Steve pointed at her with a shocked look.

'Well, you're still a prude.' Guin mumbled to herself, probably a little too loud.

'Always has been!' Sarah just sat in a corner with Bruce and Bucky, knowing if she did anything else she'd receive a proper scolding and at least three crying kids.

'Clint, get down from the vents!' more laughing could be heard. 'Ugh fine, you survived there as an adult, you'll survive there as a kid.'

'Bucky and Steve, stop ganging up on Tony! Tony, you can't just poke them with that screwdriver. You three haven't changed a bit, have you?'

'I'm sorry, ma'am.' Bucky retreated back to his place in the corner, alongside Bruce reading a children's book and the only other girl drinking a smoothie.

'я спрятал Пистолет под подушка, если с тобой все в порядке.'

'Same Nat, same.'

'Ms. Crown, I saw some toffees in the kitchen. Would it be alright if I got two?' He looked scared, panicked almost.'

'Sure sweetheart, you know where they are?' He nodded quickly and headed off to the kitchen.

'Why do I get the bounce-ball demons?!' She turned herself towards Sarah. 'Wanna trade Steve for Bruce?'

'No way, I had to live through that once. I'm not doing it again. Also, Buck's probably gonna share that second toffee with Steve.'

'Then I revoke my toffee permission.' 

'Ey, he only asked for two! It's not like they can wreck much!'

'Yes.' She exclaimed. 'Yes, they can. Steve is literally stuck in a wall right now!' Guin pointed at the team captain, who had somehow managed to crash through a panel wall.

'I never said they wouldn't wreck *anything*' The Reaper looked at her boyfriend. 'Hasn't changed, has he?'

'Please just help me.'

'I don't think she'll be able to do that, but I might.' Agent Phil Coulson stepped out into the living room. Holding a tablet under his arm. 

'Do you always just appear or...What is it?!'

'We managed to track down Loki and capture him. He's willing to change back his brother and the other Avengers, figured it isn't as fun to be evil with no enemies.' 

'Phil, if Tony would allow me I would give you his whole goddamn fortune as a thank you. But, oh my god, you're a saviour. Thank you so much.' Guin nearly dropped at his feet out of exhaustion. Kids were fun, but 7 (or however many there were) not.

'Wait, I have a fortune?'


	5. #4

'Stark, any reason you have a box full of bright-coloured firearms in the lab?' Steve Rogers walked into the living room, a bewildered expression on his face.

'Firearms? Jarvis? Did I order firearms?' Tony began walking over to the box Cap had put on the table. 'Oh no.'

One look into the box and the billionaire's face changed drastically, the always smirking face turned white in an instant and he looked absolutely terrified.

'Where did you find these?!' He whisper-screamed.

'They were under your station in the lab, I-I was lookin' for my shield.' Steve stuttered, starting to get scared himself.

'Well, you might want to keep looking, you're gonna need it.' Tony looked around the room, seeing if there was any sign of the others. 'These aren't firearms, they're nerf guns, toy guns with plastic foam "bullets".'

'Wait, so they're just toys? Why are you getting all terrified about toys? And why are you whispering? These nerf guns seem like a good training exercise, actually.' 

At that moment the two men heard stumbling down the stairs and some swearing that was undeniably Clint. In a matter of seconds, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff stood in the living room. Then Guinevere Crown came crashing through the doorframe, nearly breaking it. Not long after that, a very confused Sarah Barnes and a very scared Bruce Banner came out of the lab.

'DID YOU SAY NERF?!' Clint, Nat and Guin screamed simultaneously. Running to the box on the table, they pulled out the guns.

'What the hell are nerf guns?' Sarah stared at the group, more confused than ever.

Sometime later, when everything was explained to everyone, they all looked excited. Everyone, except for Tony, Bruce and Steve.

'Let's do a nerf fight! We'll make teams and whoever wins get one of my candy bars!' Sarah exclaimed, and when she offered a candy bar, you knew it was serious.

'No, no way. Last time we tried that, those two psychos over there,' Tony pointed at the two assassins who were eagerly looking at the box Steve was trying to hide from them. 'destroyed two training rooms, four suits, nineteen lamps and I spent three weeks fixing Jarvis.'

'You know you want to do it' The girl challenged. Her friend went on to stand behind her.

'Come on sweetie, it'll be fun! I promise we won't break anything!' Guin walked up to him with her best puppy eyes, knowing he would succumb to them.

'Oh, what the hell, why not? Cap give them the box.'

'Are you sure that's a good idea?' The captain called, standing on the kitchen counter. 'This gonna be the death of me.' He muttered to himself.

After some discussion, the team decided to not do teams but go individually. Bruce decided to be the judge but had already fallen asleep, so he wasn't much help. When all members had picked out their weapons A.K.A. made sure Clint did not get the best weapon, they all took their places.

'Let the hunger games begin!' Guin belted, and with that everyone sprinted to a hiding place, with the exception of Natasha who stayed in the living room, marking her territory.

The rest didn't get very far, because *someone* activated shut-in mode, locking everyone in the living room and the few rooms connected to it (the lab, the kitchen and the bar). 

Guin flew into the kitchen, maybe not the most strategic place but she knew it best. Holding her nerfgun she waited for the someone to come in. The rest stayed in their respective halls.

That was, until, Natasha screamed: '24 east, 86 north.' And Clint took a shot that hit Tony direcly in the chest. 

'Are you kidding me?! I'll get you, Barton.' He started charging towards the archer trying his best to hit him. And with that, all hell broke loose.

Steve had managed to climb up to the banister and was looking at the easiest target to hit, which had to be his girlfriend, who was busy analyzing her opponents. He aimed his gun at her and suddenly felt a strange tingling in his arm. The tingling got worse and worse and he let out a not too manly shriek when it began to hurt, making him drop his weapon.

'Sarah, I swear to god, you're going have to run 5 miles every day for a week.'

'What the fuck Rogers, I knew you before this and you couldn't run a mile if your life depended on it.' His significant other commented.

'You are so dead' He picked his gun back up trying to get his aim right again, but his arm still hurt.

'I didn't do it on purpose!' She called out, trying to dogde several bullets.

'You cut of my arm circulation!' He exclaimed still trying to get rid of the tingling.

'You're lucky I didn't cut off something else!' At this point everyone had just kind of left the couple alone and now Guin (who had come out of the kitchen) was trying to follow Natasha through all different kinds of hoops.

'Is that a that a threat?'

'No, that's a warning, Captain.' She tipped her head sarcastically.

'You are grounded, young lady!'

'I'M ANCIENT' Sarah proclaimed, getting fed up.

'Still younger than me' Finally, Steve got the tingling out of his arm.

'Like it's hard' With that, they heard collective gasps and tony whispering: 'Oooh, he got toasted.'

'You are so dead.'

At that point, Clint cut in, screaming in the background: 'Can't we do one nice thing without you two bickering like and old married couple?!'

'NO' The two answered in unison.

Clint was done, he sprang onto the banister and while jumping shot two shots at Cap, both hitting target. Sarah was preparing put up a chain shield to keep from getting shot, but was shocked when she felt a bullet strike her back. She turned around to find a smirking Guinevere.

'Just terminated the Reaper and the Black Widow, I am definitely going to die today.' 

Now it was down to two participants, Hawkeye and A.A., this could take a while. Clint slid down under the table, waiting, knowing that Guin would fly up and single in on her opponent. That was not what ended up happening. Guin just simply stood on the coffee table, he had no way to shoot her without coming out. 

That took a bit too long and she ended up slicing the table in half dodging 32 bullets and taking one shot that hit him on the forehead.

'NOOOO' Clint grunted, rolling over the floor in agony. 

'You okay?' Guin looked genuinely concerned at her fellow team mate.

'Yeah, only my life doesn't have purpose anymore.'

'Alright then.' She laughed, feeling proud and a tiny bit guilty for defeating him.

'WHAT HAPPENED? YOU GUYS PROMISED NOT TO BREAK ANYTHING!' Tony walked in, not looking angry, just exasperated.

'Sorry?...'

'You know what? I'm too sober for this, I'm getting a drink.'

'I'll make sure he doesn't drink himself to death, Jarvis deactivate shut-in mode, please?'

'Anyways, I win!'Guin beamed at 'the Reaper', who, too, was lying on the floor looking pretty unhappy about losing. 'now where's my candy bar?'

'You didn't really think I was going to give that, did you?'

Let's just say Sarah walked around with a wing print on her face for a few days after that.


	6. #5

PETER, get the coffee machine.' Natasha hissed at him. 'It's going to run over.'

'Yes, miss Romanoff, sorry.' Peter wasn't scared of his boss per se, but this was his first real day in the coffee shop and he wanted to do this right. Plus, he was scared of his boss. Her name was Natasha Romanoff, for crying out loud.

And as if his day couldn't get any worse, Wade Wilson walked in. He didn't even know the guy, not personally. He just always came in and started talking to Peter, it was weird, to say the least.

'Ey, Parker. How you doing?' Peter figured he'd just ignore him. 

'We're not too talkative, are we? Anyway, I went to this bar and want to know who I saw? That jackass Barton. Apparently, he owns the thing now, thought the only thing that guy was good for was being useless.' 

'Sir,' Peter refused to call him anything else. 'could you let me do my job, please?'

'Alright, alright, I know when I am unwanted. Tell your boss she has some nice figures, if you catch my drift.' He looked at Natasha who shot daggers at him while making his usual order. She handed it to him and smiled just a little too sweetly. 'Parker, just so you know, princess bubblegum over there's checking you out.'

He nodded his head towards a girl sitting in one of the comfortable chairs. She was about his age, with bright pink hair and really pretty brown eyes. When she saw him looking she looked away and stuck her nose in her book again, murmuring to herself.

Wade had already left, but Natasha followed his gaze. 

'You should talk to her.' She was always this straightforward still, he wasn't looking for relationship advice from someone who had been arrested for stabbing a guy with her keys...twice.

'N-No, I shouldn't. She was just looking at me, that happens all the time. She was probably looking at my apron!'

'Pete, I'm a pretty good judge of people. Let me finish.' She put her hand over his mouth when he wanted to protest. 'She thinks you're cute. she's reading a romance book, so she's probably a hopeless romantic and she blushed when you caught her staring. Are you convinced yet?' She took her hand from his mouth.

'Well, I guess...' He looked at the girl again. 'Alright, I'll do it.' 

And before he could lose his nerve, he walked towards her.

'H-Hey, ehm, so I saw you looking and, not that that's wrong! But, oh god, I think you're cute?' Why was he doing this? He wanted to run out of the place, this was embarrassing.

The girl immediately turned bright red. 'Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. You saw me? I'm so sorry! I'm not a creep, I promise. But wait... you thought I was cute?' she blushed some more.

'Yeah, I do. I really like your hair!' Goddamnit, Peter. 'Do you have a phone number?'

'Yeah...' She looked awkwardly at him. 'D-Do you want it?' The girl chuckled.

'Yes, oh yes. I'm sorry for being so weird.' She wrote her number on one of the napkins. 'I'm Peter, by the way.'

'I like that.' She smiled at him and he smiled back. The girl made way to grab her stuff. 'I would really love to talk to you more, but I have a class I really need to get to, I'm so sorry.'

'Don't worry about it. I'll call you.' He said with a smile on his face. 'Wait! What's your name?' 

'Guinevere!' She answered before walking out of the coffee shop.

'PETER, THE COFFEE MACHINE.' Natasha cried. It didn't matter, his day had suddenly gotten a lot better.


	7. #6

It's Iron man created a group chat

It's Iron man: Made a group chat everyone, don't wreck it

Katmiss: How would we even do that?

It's Iron man: You guys always find a way

Capsicle: Tony,didyoumakethenames?

Princess Bubblegum: Spaces, cap. Spaces.

It's Iron man: Big button on the last row

Capsicle: Thank you, what are the names of the others?

It's Iron man: You'll see

Katmiss: Katmiss, Stark? SERIOUSLY?!

Princess Bubblegum: my name isn't even that bad

Death metal: Of course it isn't. You're his favorite

Princess Bubblegum: Goddamnit Tony, is this Sarah or Bucky?

Death metal: Ik kan Nederlands als dat helpt...

Princess Bubblegum: Sarah dus, je doet het alleen in het Nederlands om de anderen te irriteren, huh?

Death metal: Jup

It's Iron man: I literally only understood the words 'huh' and 'Sarah'

Katmiss: WE GET IT, YOU SPEAK DUTCH, NONE OF US DO, CONGRATS.

Metallica: Seventy years ago, I lost my dear sister Sarah

Death metal: Quit telling everyone I'm dead, asshole

Metallica: Sometimes, I can still hear her voice

Princess Bubblegum: You guys are weird

It's Iron man: And you're not?

Princess Bubblegum: Fair point

Scary Ass-ass-sin: Вы все идиоты

Katmiss: You guys got Natasha talkin' Russian, you happy now??

Capsicle: Lá 143 níl a fhios acu go fóill go bhfuil mé Gaeilge.

Princess Bubblegum: Cap, are you okay or are you having a stroke?

Capsicle: Is é seo an méid atá mé ag caint faoi

Princess Bubblegum: Definitely a stroke

Scary Ass-ass-sin: Если вы только что прочитали его файл

Princess Bubblegum: Als jullie in je moedertaal gaan praten dan same here

Death metal: Guin, jij en ik weten allebei dat je een hekel hebt aan Nederlands...

It's iron man: Ho finito con voi ragazzi, parlerò italiano tutto il giorno.

It's Iron man has deleted the group chat

Scary Ass-ass-sin: ты думал


	8. #7

'Jarvis, could you give the other Avengers an audio message?' The team captain was standing in the kitchen in full work-out gear, waiting for his teammates to join him. They had all decided to be healthier this year, and who better to motivate them than captain boy scout?

'Of course, Mr. Rogers. Audio messaging activated' 

'WAKE UP YOU DAMN CLOWNS!' He started banging pots and pans together, knowing that if it didn't get them out of bed, it'd at least annoy them.

'LANGUAGE, AND LEAVE MY KITCHEN WARE ALONE!' Guin screamed from her room. She was probably already awake and had been drawing the past few hours, but just because she was up didn't mean she was keen on running 3 miles.

'Goddamnit, Cap. Why the hell are you waking us up at this ungodly hour?' Clint stumbled out of his quarters, not looking pleased. Natasha followed behind. 

'If the reason for waking us up isn't "orange cheeto isn't president anymore", I'm skinning you alive, Rogers.'

'Who gave Rogers access to the pans? Who thought that was a good idea? He doesn't even cook!' Tony remarked, being pretty annoyed to have been woken from a fairly nice dream, he did not have those often.

'You know, sometimes I wish you were still small so I could kick your ass.' Sarah exclaimed looking pretty disheveled, Bucky, coming from the same hall did not look much happier.

'What is happening? Code Red? Code Green? What code is it? Wait, Code Green is The Hulk! Do we need The Hulk? Oh god, Do w-' Bruce ran out of his lab, already trying to rip his shirt off.

'NO' Everyone screamed simultaneously. 

'We do not need The Hulk, calm down. Clint, It's 8 AM, you should be up already. Cheeto is however surprising, still president. No one has to give me access, I have an "overgrown frisbee" that'll do much more damage and no you wouldn't, considering I'd be way to busy getting my ass kicked by other people.' His teammates looked at him expectantly and slightly more pissed, if that was even possible. 'I woke you up because we promised to be healthier, and I figured running a few miles would be the perfect way to get started.'

'Yeah, no' Clint grumbled and made his way back to his room.

'You know what, I actually think it's a good idea.' Guin came out of her room, startling both Tony and Steve.

'You do?' They asked.

'Yeah, it'd be good. We'd get some fresh air and I'd be a great team bonding exercise, wouldn't it Cap?'

'Y-Yeah, exactly!' Steve rejoiced, happy someone agreed with him.

'I am not running, unless absolutely necessary. We live in the same building, we're basically team building non-stop.' Tony chipped in, but Natasha had caught on to Guin's plan. Which was letting the others suffer under Cap's drill sergeant tactic. 

'Come on Tony, I want to bet 20 dollars that you wouldn't even be able to run a mile.'

'Oh, it's on.' They shook hands and the Black Widow smirked at Guin, she had him right where she wanted.

That would teach them for eating Nat, Guin and Bucky's shared bowl of popcorn. They gave the Winter Soldier a conspiring look.

'No way, I already ran in the military. That was enough running for a whole lifetime.' Sarah crossed her arms and looked at her friends.

It seemed Bucky had gotten the hint. 

'Huh, never considered you to be a quitter.' Knowing just how to hit his sister where it hurt.

'I'll crush you, fuckface.' 

'Are you three done? Put on your workout gear. Meet me here in 5, we're going to Central Park.' Steve joined the conversation again, using his Captain voice to get everyone moving.

After several minutes of 'Where's my gear?' and 'No Tony, you can't use your Iron man suit.', the gang stood outside before their captain, caffeinated and ready to go.

'Okay come on people, I want to be in Central Park in ten minutes.' 

This was not going to be an easy jog.

\--------------------------------------------

fifteen minutes later, Steve and Bucky were in the lead, with the rest trailing behind.

Guin and Nat were holding up fine, Natasha had a great condition from being a red room trainee and Guin moved her wings ever so slightly making 'running' almost effortless. They looked behind them and gave each other a high-five.

'Aren't we being a bit mean? I mean, they already look like they're dying on a daily basis, let's not make it worse.' Guin joked.

'They ate our popcorn, no punishment is enough.' the Black Widow said coldly, Guin couldn't disagree with her.

At the back of the trail were Clint, Tony and Sarah.

'Okay, that's it. I give up, I don't even care if I ran a mile or not. I'll make it back, right?' Tony stopped running. He was out of breath, clutching his chest and a bit dizzy. 'Clint, why are you even here? You're a Shield agent, you're supposed to be fit, aren't you? Or do they just accept anyone into that program?'

'Yeah no, I can run. I just think it's funny to watch you two suffer.' Clint looked at Tony and Sarah, the latter of which was still running.

'I-I'm gonna make it, I'm not quitting.' And then she fell down into the grass.

'Shouldn't you have a good condition?' Tony went to sit next to her. 'With the serum and the Hydra stuff and the fucking infinity stone? Weren't you in the army, too? Something definitely went wrong with your applications.'

'Well, when you can kill people with just waving your hand, they don't really focus on the basics. And my applications weren't wrong! I just didn't have them.'

'How do you two ever run from you know, bad guys?!' Clint exclaimed.

'I don't.' the two of them answered.

That's when Guinevere leapt down from the sky, taking Tony with her.

'At this point, I'm not even going to act surprised. How are you, sweetheart?'

'I'm fine, you are clearly not.' Guin remarked, looking at her panting fiancée.

'Why'd you come back? You and Nat were way ahead.' Tony looked down, where he could still see Natasha running alongside Steve and Bucky.

'One, that rhymes. And two, I felt guilty for making you run.'

'You didn't make me run. Nat and I made a bet.' Tony was not looking forward to Romanoff's smug grin as he was handing her the money.

'Why do you think she did that, genius? It was revenge for you, Sarah and Clint eating our popcorn.' The engineer might have been smart, but he wasn't the strongest when it came to uncovering plots. That's why they never played Cluedo.

'Popcorn? Oh right, that was some good popcorn.' Tony teased.

'I could drop you, you know.' Guin threatened.

'But you wouldn't.' If Tony knew one thing about his fiancée, it was that she got really attached to people and that she would honest to god never hurt them. It was one of the things he loved most about her.

'But I wouldn't...' She sighed, the only people she dropped were Hydra agents or Steve that one time.

'I'm still going to get punished for the popcorn, aren't I?'

'You bet you are.' Guin flew towards the Avengers tower, planning on exploiting Tony's only weakness, Cluedo.


	9. #8

Guinevere had just woken up. It was another fairly quiet day at the Avengers facility and she was going to enjoy it. She walked to the window and opened the curtains, turning her back to the open window, she found her husband stretched out on the bed.

'Goodmorning Buzz.' 

'Goodmorning Amore Mio.' Her heart always fluttered when he called her that. It meant 'my love' in Italian, she adored it. The adoring had to wait though, because he sounded way too hoarse for it to be healthy. 

In her head, she was going through the events of last night. Yes, he had talked a bit loudly but that was just to annoy Bucky, who had complained about 'keeping the damn volume down.'

'Tony, are you okay?' 

'Huh? What? Yeah, of course.' He looked up at her with slightly dazed and watery eyes.

She put his hand on his forehead and quickly pulled it away.

'You're burning up, Ironman. You're melting, ayyyyy.'

'If it's early enough for this, it's early enough for booze.' He stood up to get out of the bed, but the moment he tried he fell down.

Guin walked towards him and looked down. 'You sure about that?"

'You know, sometimes I don't really like you.'

'Oh shut up and get into bed. I'll make you some breakfast and bring drugs. Deal?'

'Deal.' 

The girl walked into the kitchen and decided to just give him some toast with butter and a cup of tea. See if he could keep that down before she gave him coffee.

'Morning пузырьки' Natasha walked in holding a mega-sized mug she once found at the dollar store with 'I might throw this at you' on it, it was filled to the brim with coffee. That most of the time meant she'd had a nightmare about the red room and wanted to stay awake.

'Morning, you okay?'

'Sure, you?'

'I'm fine, Tony's sick so that's fun.'

'Good luck with that, don't mind me subtly avoiding you two all day. I'm not up for getting sick.'

'RUDE' she called after her and went on to bring Tony his breakfast.

Upon arriving at their bedroom something was different. Only replace different with missing. And the thing missing was Tony.

'Jarvis?' She looked up at the ceiling.

'Mister Stark seems to be trying to crawl his way to the lab. A bit pathetic, if you ask me'.

'A bit?'

She walked down the hall and after a minute or two of slow walking she found him dragging himself across the floor.

'If I wasn't married to you, I swear.'


	10. #9

'Steve, do you have the balloons?'

'Check.'

'Wanda, the visuals?'

'Check'

'Bucky, the candles?'

'You know I'm older than you, right?'

'Bucky...'

'Check'

'Pietro, drinks?'

'Check'

'Why are we letting the Russian handle the alcohol?' Tony remarked from his place in the line.

'Because 33% of the team is Russian for crying out loud.'

'Clint and Nat, the presents?'

'Check and check.'

'Last but not least, Tony, the cake?'

'Check.'

'Good.' Sarah walked to the kitchen and checked everything off the list. Today was Guin's birthday and they wanted to make it extra special this year, just like every year. 

Also, just like every year, Steve had taken on the responsibility of being the planner but had been forced to step down from that duty after screaming 'WHY WON'T YOU DO WHAT I WANT?!' at the birthday decorations.

So, Sarah always ended up being the planner and more than one person on the team suspected she just moved the decorations slightly with her powers until she got to be in charge.

'Damn Cap, and I thought you had a military schedule.' Tony whispered to him.

'Yeah right, I'm the relaxed one out of the two of us.'

Tony stared at his friend incredulously for a minute and then went to join the others who were standing before Guin and Tony's shared room. There, they (obviously) got arranged by task, then name and then social security number. It was a confusing system but no one dared to challenge it.

'Okay guys, so I'm going to count to three and then we'll open the door and come in and say happy birthday in our native language. Got it? Don't you dare fuck me over with this, Clint.' The archer pretended to be offended but even he knew she had the right to call him out.

'Okay, here we go'

'3'

'2'

'1'

They all stormed into Guin's room screaming various variations of the words happy birthday. After that, they all joined together in English, just in case.

'HAPPY BIRTHDAY.'

'oH MY GOD, you guys scared the crap out of me.'

'And isn't that what birthdays are all about?' Tony walked over to her side of the bed and gave her a kiss on the forehead. 'Buon compleanno, il mio tesoro.' 

A little while later everyone was sitting around the bed eating morning cake, which was, according to Guinevere, the best kind of cake.

'Hey guys' Guin looked at all her friends around her.

'Mhm?' Wanda looked up at her mouth stuffed with cake.

'I really appreciate you all doing this, but it's not my birthday...' She looked around awkwardly.

'It's definitely your birthday.' Sarah went over her planning in her head, she had never had a birthday wrong and this wasn't going to be the first time.

'Give me a calendar. It's not and I will prove it to - oh Never mind. Happy birthday to me.' 

Jarvis had put up a calendar for this month and the date 'April 9' was circled with pink marker. Which meant one, a birthday. And two, her birthday. In the corner was also a small pin, meaning that it was the birthday of another important S.H.I.E.L.D. figure, Peggy Carter.

She quickly looked over at Steve, Sarah, Tony, and Bucky; who were all looking a bit sad at seeing the date. So, she carefully picked up her glass of champagne (Tony's idea) and raised it to the sky.

'To Peggy, happy birthday. Hope you're having a good time up there.'

Bucky grabbed his glass and raised that one up too.

'And to Guin, cheers to a lot more of getting the face by angel wings.'

'Cheers to that.' Guin smiled. 

Her life had not been great or amazing and at some points, it hadn't even been fine. But somehow, someway, everything worked out in such a way that she was sitting here surrounded by friends who'd become family, drinking champagne and eating cake at seven in the morning. Yet, she couldn't have been happier at this very moment. The only reason she hated getting older now, was not because she wanted everything to stop, but because it meant she got to spend less time with these people she had grown to love and who had grown to love her.

 

-THE END-

I hoped you enjoyed these stories! Here's to many years more of cards against humanity, weird text conversations and Hydra missions. I found a quote on friendship that I think really describes us so I'll end it on that note (I know I'm cliché okay? But I really liked this one): 

'It's not the length of time we've known someone that makes them special. It's what they bring into our lives.' 

-S.K.


End file.
